Be still...and know that I am God!Die jaar is amper verby. Ek loop nou al soveel maande rond met ‘n storie in my kop. Dan dink ek by myself hoekom moet ek dit skryf? Toe lees ek die volgende deur Robert Haas:” It’s hell writing and it’s hell not writing. The only tolerable state is having just written.” Toe besluit ek maar om eerder te skryf…
As ek hierdie jaar in een woord kan opsom, dan is dit Richard Rohr.
Tao Te Ching het eendag gesê: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. When the student is truly ready, the teacher will disappear.”
Richard Rohr het hierdie jaar aan my “appear”, en hy het my paradigma radikaal kom verander oor ‘n paar dinge. En ek as die student was so reg vir hom. En om dit nie te skryf nie, is om hel te kies.
Ek gaan probeer om dit wat hy my geleer het, op te som. Want daar is so baie. En as alles belangrik is, dan is niks belangrik nie. So ek mag ‘n klomp dinge mis. Maar hierdie is my “blog” – so “live with it…”
Mark Twain het gesê: “I did not have the time to write a short letter, therefore I wrote a long letter…”
Hier is my kort briefie:
“Vasgevang in dualisme”
Ek het altyd geglo dat Descartes reg was toe hy gesê het: “I think, therefore I am.” Ons leer dan so mooi as ons grootword hoe belangrik dit is om te dink. Ons leer dat hierdie spier tussen ons ore die sterkste is in ons liggaam. Dat ons hele wese gekoppel is aan ons denke. Dat wat ons dink, direk ons lewe beïnvoed.
Dat ons ons denke is…
Dualisme is waarmee ons almal grootword. Daar is niks mee verkeerd nie. Die enigste manier wat ‘n kind gaan weet van “koud” is slegs as daar iets soos “warm” is. As alles in die heelal dieselfde temperatuur was, was dit nie nodig vir woorde soos warm of koud nie…
Ons het dualisme nodig in ons wêreld om ons werk te kan doen as onderwyser, verpleegster, wetenskaplike of watookal. Dit help en dit is nodig. Die probleem is, dit gaan nie ver genoeg nie. Jy kan nie nie alles in hierdie lewe deur jou dualistiese lens oplos nie.
Vir een of ander rede verkies die ego en die menslike brein om alles deur die lens van vergelykings, kompetisies en teenoorgestelde pole te verstaan. En so word mans beter as vrouens, Suid-Afrika beter as Zimbabwe, wit beter as swart, my argument beter as jou argument; my status beter as joune, my geld meer as joune en my vrou mooier as joune.
“Controlling people try to control people, and they do the same with God—but loving anything always means a certain giving up of control. You tend to create a God who is just like you—whereas it was supposed to be the other way around.” Richard Rohr
Hierdie dualisme het nie die sagteware om meer komplekse dinge soos die ewigheid, misterie, God, genade, swaarkry, seksualiteit, dood, liefde te kan hanteer nie. Dit het doodeenvoudig nie die bandwydte daarvoor nie. As ons na geloof op ‘n dualistiese manier kyk, dan word ons godsdiens ‘n tipe van “fast food” godsdiens. Bid gou vinnig as jy ietsie nodig het…
“Christians are usually sincere and well-intentioned people until you get to any real issues of ego, control power, money, pleasure, and security. Then they tend to be pretty much like everybody else. We often given a bogus version of the Gospel, some fast-food religion, without any deep transformation of the self; and the result has been the spiritual disaster of “Christian” countries that tend to be as consumer-oriented, proud, warlike, racist, class conscious, and addictive as everybody else-and often more so, I’m afraid.” Richard Rohr
En wanneer die besluit deur die dualistiese persoon geneem word of iets reg of weg is, bring dit ongelooflike blindheid met hom saam. Alles op die skaal tussen reg en verkeerd, ryk of arm, slim of dom word doodeenvoudig misgekyk. Jy sien net A of B, en niks tussenin nie. Jy kan glad nie meer sien wat reg voor jou is nie, want jou dualisme het jou verblind.
“Knowing without loving is frankly dangerous for the soul and for society. You’ll critique most everything you encounter and even have the hubris to call this mode of reflexive cynicism “thinking” (whereas it’s really your ego’s narcissistic reaction to the moment). You’ll position things too quickly as inferior or superior, “with me” or “against me,” and most of the time you’ll be wrong.” Richard Rohr
“Church practice has been more influenced by Plato than by Jesus. We invariably prefer the universal synthesis, the answer that settles all the dust and resolves every question even when it is not entirely true over the mercy and grace of God.” Richard Rohr
Ek was nooit hiervan bewus nie in myself nie. Miskien by ander mens, maar nie by my nie… totdat hiermee priester oom Richard my hard hiermee geslaan het.
“Perfection, rather, is the ability to incorporate imperfection! There’s no other way to live: You either incorporate imperfection, or you fall into denial. That’s how the Spirit moves in or out of our lives.” Richard Rohr
In elke gesprek het ek agtergekom ek is die heeltyd besig om die A of die B te soek in die gesprek sodat ek ‘n besluit kan neem sodat ek kan weet waar ek staan. Ek soek ‘n antwoord, en ek “force” hom na A of B toe.
“The ego hates losing – even to God.” Richard Rohr
Dit is hoekom Jesus so baie gemaak het van genade, en vergifnis. Want wanneer jy dit waarlik ervaar, dan breek dit dualisme af. As iemand jou liefhet wanneer jy dit glad nie verdien nie. As iemand jou vergewe wanneer jy iets verkeerd gedoen het. Dan begin jy beweeg in die terrein van nie-dualisme. Jy raak ontslae van hierdie meritokrasie en “quid pro quo” wêreld waarbinne ons ons bevind, en jy beweeg na die groot oseaan van genade. En wanneer jy dit vir die eerste keer sien, dan is dit ‘n ongelooflike deurbraak. Niks sal ooit weer dieselfde wees in jou lewe nie. En dan word jy honger om elke dag dieper en dieper in die genade oseaan in te stap, weg van hierdie ou vervelige meritokrasie waar ons telling hou sonder ophou. Sodat ons darem net ‘n plekkie kan hê in die son.
Weg van dualisme.
“And we must—absolutely must—maintain a fundamental humility before the Great Mystery. If we do not, religion always worships itself and its formulations and never God.” Richard Rohr
Hierdie Franciscan priester kom toe nou hierdie jaar en gooi my appelkar heel onderstebo.
Lees hierdie oor en oor todat hierdie mampoerdruppel val by jou daar diep binne waar die “disprin” oplos:
” We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking” – Richard Rohr
Jou denke gaan jou nie verander nie. Jou ervaring van God gaan jou verander. En dan gaan jy anders begin dink oor dinge…
Ons “containers” vs die ware Ekke
Ek het skaars hierdie konsep van my eie “journey” met dualisme begin prosesseer en die lang pad wat ek nog sal moet stap daarmee , toe slaan die blêddie priester weer toe. Dis so asof ek skaars weer op my voete is in die bokskruit, toe kry ek weer ‘n opstopper. Van die priester af.
Jou “container” is maar net dit wat jy dink jy is. Maar dis vals en dis mensgemaak. En dis jou eie ego wat dit skep. Dis ‘n stel standaarde wat jy skep om jou plekkie in die son te kry. Dis hoe jy wil lyk vr die wêreld. Watter klere jy aantrek. Waar jy op vakansie gaan. Watter vriende jy het. Hoeveel volgelinge jy op Instagram het. Hoe fiks jy is. Jou beroep. Jou karretje wat jy ry en waar jy bly.
Moenie verkeerd verstaan nie. Jou “container” is nie noodwendig “evil” nie. Dit is goed en baie nodig vir jou om op hierdie ou aardetjie ‘n bestaan te kan maak. Maar jou “container” is slegs jou “launching pad”. Dit is soos wat Bill Plotkin sê, jou “survival dance”. Dit is nie naastenby jou “sacred dance” nie.
“Your concern is not so much to have what you love anymore, but to love what you have—right now. This is a monumental change from the first half of life, so much so that it is almost the litmus test of whether you are in the second half of life at all.” Richard Rohr
Verskeie “containers” kom en gaan in ons lewe. En een of ander tyd word die “container” se beperkinge sigbaar vir jou wanneer hulle te lank by jou kuier. En soos wat ons spiritueel groei, word hierdie “containers” al hoe meer aan die Lig blootgestel en dan gaan hulle dood. Dit is nou as hulle ooit groter Lig toelaat – baie “containers” doen dit nie.
“Sin happens whenever we refuse to keep growing.” Richard Rohr
En dis waar die probleem inkom. As jy nie op die regte tyd en op die regte manier van jou “container” ontslae raak nie, dan sal jy vassit in jou “container” – “stuck, trapped and addicted”. En baie mense word oud en dan is hulle vasgevang in hulle eie mensgemaakte egosentriese mislukke “containers”.
“When I am not king, then THE Kingdom has its best chance of breaking through.” Richard Rohr
“The human ego prefers anything, just about anything, to falling, or changing, or dying. The ego is that part of you that loves the status quo – even when it’s not working. It attaches to past and present and fears the future.” Richard Rohr
En dan moet hulle so doodgaan.
“When you say you love God, you are saying you love everything. Immature religion becomes an excuse for not loving a whole bunch of things and reveals that you have not had an authentic God experience yet. Rigid religion and compulsive religiosity, all unloving religion, is a rather clear sign that you have not met God! Once you have had a unitive experience with God, reality, or even yourself, your life invariably shows two things: quiet confidence and joyous gratitude.” Richard Rohr
“Much of what is called Christianity has more to do with disguising the ego behind the screen of religion and culture than any real movement toward a God beyond the small self, and a new self in God.” Richard Rohr
Die antwoord volgens die oom is ‘n besef van wie jy regtig is – jou ware self.
“Good powerlessness (because there is also a bad powerlessness) allows you to “fall into the hands of the living God” (Hebrews 10:31). You stop holding yourself up, so you can be held. There, wonderfully, you are not in control and only God needs to be right. That is always the very special space of any positive powerlessness and vulnerability, but it is admittedly rare. Faith can only happen in this very special threshold space. You don’t really do faith, it happens to you when you give up control and all the steering of your ship. Frankly, we often do it when we have no other choice. Faith hardly ever happens when we rush to judgment or seek too-quick resolution of anything. Thus you see why faith will invariably be a minority and suspect position. And you also see why the saints always said that faith is a gift. You fall into it more than ever fully choosing it, and only then do you know how grace, love, and God can sustain you and strengthen you at very deep levels.” Richard Rohr
Jou ware self, in teenstelling met jou “container” – leef vir altyd. Jou ware self is waarlik vry in hierdie wêreld. En wanneer jy verby jou “container” kan beweeg na jou ware self toe, dan gaan dit voel asof jy niks verloor het nie.
“Jesus did not come to change the mind of God about humanity (it did not need changing)! Jesus came to change the mind of humanity about God.” Richard Rohr
Dan gaan jy saam met Rumi kan sê: ” What have I ever lost by dying…?” Of in die woorde van Thomas Merton: :” We must become who we are already…!”
When I can stand in mystery (not knowing and not needing to know and being dazzled by such freedom), when I don’t need to split, to hate, to dismiss, to compartmentalize what I cannot explain or understand, when I can radically accept that “I am what I am what I am,” then I am beginning to stand in divine freedom (Galatians 5:1). We do not know how to stand there on our own. Someone Else needs to sustain us in such a deep and spacious place. This is what the saints mean by our emptiness, our poverty and our nothingness. They are not being negative or self-effacing, but just utterly honest about their inner experience. God alone can sustain me in knowing and accepting that I am not a saint, not at all perfect, not very loving at all—and in that very recognition I can fall into the perfect love of God. Remember Jesus’ first beatitude: “How happy are the poor in spirit, theirs is the kingdom of God” (Matthew 5:3). How amazing is that? I think this might just be the description of salvation and perfect freedom. They are the same, you know.” Richard Rohr
Jy is Kind van God. Jy is ‘n geestelike wese wat maar net ‘n kort tydjie op hierdie aarde is. “You are a spiritual being merely having a human experience…”. Dan skielik lag jy as jy terugkyk na al jou eie “containers” wat jy gedink het so “cool’ is. Hoe simpel kon jy wees…!
“When you get your,’Who am I?’, question right, all of your,’What should I do?’ questions tend to take care of themselves” Richard Rohr
Dis wanneer jy aan die “Whole” gekoppel is dat jy nie meer nodig het om die “Part” te verdedig nie. Jy is deel van iets baie baie groter. Jy is deel van iets wat onuitputlik is. ‘n Groot oseaan, en jy is ‘n druppeltjie. Jy dans nie meer rukkerig nie – jy vloei. Jy is besig met jou “sacred dance…”
“I promise you that the discovery of your True Self will feel like a thousand pounds of weight have fallen from your back. You will no longer have to build, protect, or promote any idealized self image. Living in the True Self is quite simply a much happier existence, even though we never live there a full twenty-four hours a day. But you henceforth have it as a place to always go back to. You have finally discovered the alternative to your False Self. You are like Jacob awakening from sleep and joining the chorus of mystics in every age. “You were here all along, and I never knew it!” he says (Genesis 28:16). He anoints the stone pillow where this happened and names it Bethel, or “the house of God and gate of heaven” (28:17–18).4 Jacob then carries the presence with him wherever he goes. What was first only there is soon everywhere. The gate of heaven is first of all in one concrete place, better if carried with you, and best when found everywhere. That is the progression of the spiritual life.” Richard Rohr
Hou vas aan jou stoel: “Faith does not need to push the river because faith is able to trust that there is a river. The river is flowing. We are in it.”
― Richard Rohr
Hier kom nog een: “It’s a gift to joyfully recognize and accept our own smallness and ordinariness. Then you are free with nothing to live up to, nothing to prove, and nothing to protect. Such freedom is my best description of Christian maturity, because once you know that your “I” is great and one with God, you can ironically be quite content with a small and ordinary “I.” No grandstanding is necessary. Any question of your own importance or dignity has already been resolved once and for all and forever.”
― Richard Rohr
En ‘n laaste een: Most of us were taught that God would love us if and when we change. In fact, God loves you so that you can change. What empowers change, what makes you desirous of change is the experience of love. It is that inherent experience of love that becomes the engine of change.”
― Richard Rohr
Stilte en “contemplation”
Die priester herinner my die jaar dat ons DNA van God af kom.
“We are created in the image and likeness of God”.
En dit moes ek weer besef hierdie jaar. Ons vind dit so moeilik om dit te glo. Dit is ‘n vreeslike groot geskenk van Hom, maar ons glo dit nie. Miskien van ander mense. Maar nie van my nie. Hoe kan ek God se DNA in my hê?
“Remember, Jesus said that we also are the light of the world (Matthew 5:14), as well as saying it about himself (John 8:12). Strange that we see light in him but do not imitate him in seeing the same light in ourselves. Such luminous seeing is quite the opposite of the closed-minded, dead-hearted, body-denying thing that much religion has been allowed to become. As you surely have heard before, “Religion is lived by people who are afraid of hell. Spirituality is lived by people who have been through hell and come out enlightened.” Richard Rohr
Wie ek is in God, en wie God is in my, is die enigste self wat ooit bestaan het.
“The energy in the universe is not in the planets, or in the protons or neutrons, but in the relationship between them.” Richard Rohr
Al my “containers” oor al die jare was mensgemaak en vals. En meeste mense besef dit nie. Hulle dink hulle is hulle denke. Of hulle huis. Of hulle geld. Of hulle vriende.
“Your True Self is who you are, and always have been in God . . . The great surprise and irony is that “you,” or who you think you are, have nothing to do with its original creation or its demise. It’s sort of disempowering and utterly empowering at the same time, isn’t it? All you can do is nurture it.” Richard Rohr
En die rede hoekom hulle dit nie weet nie, is omdat niemand dit vir hulle vertel nie. Hulle het nie die “tools” om te kan “connect” met wie hulle regtig is nie.
“Our religious institutions are not giving very many men access to credible encounters with the holy or even with their own wholeness. We largely give men mandates, signposts, scaffolding and appealing images that tend to create religious identity and boundaries, but from the outside.” Richard Rohr
Want dualisme en “container living” gaan jou nooit daar bring nie.
“We moved from wondering to answering, which has not served us well at all.” Richard Rohr
Dis soos om oorsee te wil gaan maar jy het net ‘n ou dikwielfiets met een wiel…en dan is die ander wiel ook nog pap.
“Religion is best when it points beyond itself, like Isaiah or John the Baptist. It is worst when it gives you just enough of the forms to inoculate you against the substance, when it substitutes rituals for reality, the container for the contents, the wineskins for the ecstatic wine.” Richard Rohr
Hierdie jaar het Rohr my geleer dat ek gebed anders moet definieer.
“A lot of us pray as if prayer is really twisting the arm of God or convincing God to do something. We think by saying more words we’ll talk God into it. We think, “If I say it one more time, God will agree with me.” That very attitude is an alienating attitude. It keeps us in the role of doing it “right” or often enough to convince an unready or unwilling God. Wrong, wrong, wrong!” Richard Rohr
Gebed is volgens hom om in stilte te sit totdat die stilte ons stilmaak ….
“I am just like you. My immediate response to most situations is with reactions of attachment, defensiveness, judgment, control, and analysis. I am better at calculating than contemplating. Let’s admit that we all start there. The False Self seems to have the “first gaze” at almost everything. The first gaze is seldom compassionate. It is too busy weighing and feeling itself: “How will this affect me?” or “How can I get back in control of this situation?” This leads us to an implosion, a self-preoccupation that cannot enter into communion with the other or the moment. In other words, we first feel our feelings before we can relate to the situation and emotion of the other. Only after God has taught us how to live “undefended,” can we immediately stand with and for the other, and in the present moment. It takes lots of practice. On my better days, when I am “open, undefended, and immediately present,” as Gerald May says, I can sometimes begin with a contemplative mind and heart. Often I can get there later and even end there, but it is usually a second gaze. The True Self seems to always be ridden and blinded by the defensive needs of the False Self. It is an hour-by-hour battle, at least for me. I can see why all spiritual traditions insist on daily prayer, in fact, morning, midday, evening, and before we go to bed, too! Otherwise, I can assume that I am back in the cruise control of small and personal self-interest, the pitiable and fragile “Richard self.” Richard Rohr
Gebed is om dankbaarheid te kies totdat ons dankbaar word…
“In my experience, if you are not radically grateful every day, resentment always takes over.” Richard Rohr
Gebed is om God te loof en prys totdat onsself ‘n konstante daad van lof is…
Ek probeer minder praat wanneer ek nou bid. Ek word stil soos ‘n klein voëltjie wat net sy bekkie oopmaak. Want sy Pappa het vir hom ‘n wurmpie gebring. Ek probeer God minder “uit-figure” met my kop.
In solitude, at last, we’re able to let God define us the way we are always supposed to be defined—by relationship: the I-thou relationship, in relation to a Presence that demands nothing of us but presence itself. Not performance but presence” Richard Rohr
‘Trying to explain God is like trying to explain the Milky Way to an ant.” Hy kom nie na my toe op ‘n kognitiewe kopvlak nie.
Hy “connect” met my.
Ek moes leer om dit net toe te laat. Met my bekkie oop!
Ek leer nou net om stil te word. Sodat my modderpoeletjie stadig maar seker weer helder kan word. En ek leer om God toe te laat om na my toe kom, en met my werk. Op Sy manier, nie myne nie. En met my DNA te werskaf. En my te vertroetel. En saam met my lag en te huil. En ek sukkel daarmee. Want my poeletjie is maar vol modder. Maar ek kom agter as ek sit in stilte, en myself uit die pad uit kry, dan kom God op Sy manier na my toe en werk met my. En stadig sak al die modder af in die poeletjie, en dan kan ek weer sien…
“Because I am a part of the Big Picture, I do matter and substantially so. Because I am only a part, however, I am rightly situated off to stage right—and happily so. What freedom there is in such truth! We are inherently important and included, yet not burdened with manufacturing or sustaining that private importance. Our dignity is given by God, and we are freed from ourselves!” Richard Rohr
“The people who know God well—mystics, hermits, prayerful people, those who risk everything to find God—always meet a lover, not a dictator.” Richard Rohr
“The morning glories and the sunflowers turn naturally toward the light, but we have to be taught, it seems.” Richard Rohr
“You cannot capture silence. It captures you…” Richard Rohr
En ons eie Desmond Tutu het vir Richard Rohr die volgende gesê toe hy hier was in Kaapstad: “We are only the light bulbs, Richard, and our job is just to remain screwed in!” Richard Rohr
Ek probeer dit – elke dag. Om net te draai na die Lig toe. In stilte.
Boeta se les
Yanik, ek wens drie dinge vir jou:
- Dat jy vinnig in jou lewe sal besef dat die bril van dualisme jou nie gaan help met die dieper dinge in die lewe nie. Dat jy paradoks en misterie in jou hand sal kan vasvat en nie gegooi word daardeur nie. Dat jy vroeg in jou lewe sal besef dat antwoorde en wen nie altyd nodig is nie. En dat jy in enige interaksie eers sal soek vir die Ja voordat jy verblind word deur jou eie mensgemaakte dualisme.
- Dat jy sal toelaat dat die lig sal skyn oor al jou ‘containers”. En dat hulle oor tyd self sal doodgaan soos onkruid. En dat jy nooit in jou lewe vasgevang sal word deur jou eie mensgemaakte “containers” nie. Dat jy vroeg sal besef dat geen “container” naby kom aan die ongelooflike waarheid van jou ware self: Kind van God – met Sy DNA in jou…
- Dat jy nie sal bang wees vir stilte nie. Maar dat jy sal toelaat dat God na jou toe sal kom in jou stilte, en dat jy jouself uit die pad uit sal kry sodat Hy met jou kan werk. Dat jy elke dag sal draai na die lig toe soos die sonneblomme. Elke dag!
Lief vir jou
Pappa